Monday, April 21, 2008

shopping for jesus

Can Jesus's blood make the vilest sinner clean? i wonder.. or what about my blood? if it is shed will I be cleansed?

just when i thought life is good and i was at peace with life.. i get thrown back into worry, anxiety, frustration, anger, pain, disappoint in myself and doubt.. i have yet another obstacle to overcome this week which might effect my graduation for my masters'.. i cried hard (which is something i do not do easily), but i am scared and no one is here but my dogs whom i love.. i know i have many friends who listen, support, and love me.. but i am still alone here.. maybe i should leave my chosen field and start something else? social work? forest ranger? dog groomer? i just don't know.. i spoke with another teacher today and she prayed with me over the phone that jesus will take care of me, keep me safe, and let the truth set me free.. i am scared of the truth.. it will hurt and damage many lives... am i kidding myself? will i ever teach again? i need to teach it is my calling and feeds my soul... just when i begin to feel happiness it seems i am reminded that i do not deserve it.. where can i get a vile of God's blood? will that help? i am supposed to be reviewing for a makeup quiz i have but i can't stop my mind from racing with consequences and possible solutions..

i am going to find a good merlot and have a priest bless it for me.. do you think that counts as jesus's blood? does anyone know where i can pick up some grace? i am all out..

1 comment:

earthmama said...

left foot, right foot, breathe...

(lather, rinse, repeat as needed)

<3 <3 <3