quiet moments

As I sit here at 7:30am in Nepal I am trying to make sense of what has conspired through my journey here. The adoption process seems to be a trial of will and faith. I receive good news, bad news, frustrating news, compassionate news, then heart breaking news. Now it seems that I might have to leave Sawyer here again but this time I will not be coming back. Due to an orphanage directors over enthusiasm issues have come to light as to the application process and completion with our US govt. I do not want to in any ways misconceive our govt and will follow there advice. As of right now I am not sure. What I am sure of is that this beautiful boy in a tie-dye shirt and jogging pants looks absolutely perfect and I wonder what God has in store. I wonder why would he send me here again only to be hurt? What am I supposed to learn? Will there be any signs? And can I live on rice here?

I do know that I am loved and supported and with that I will get through this.