Weekend Warrior

It was a nice weekend I had.. I spent Friday helping my sister clean her house, cleaning and organizing my roommate's bedroom, and of course I visited my mom.. She is doing ok.. I was there rather late that night.. She was fidgety because she had a bath and was moved around a lot. Now she is on oxygen... Saturday I went to Del Rio to visit my Mitch (pseudo name) who had a party that night.. It was nice and I did not get drunk I had a drink and water, drink and water, drink and water.. Felt good and I did not wake up feeling like I got hit by a truck.. Today, came home and spent some time with my kids.. Seamus some how has several new scratches on his back (wonder if he was upset because I left out of town?). I visited with my mom tonight for several hours. She was resting and seemed peaceful.. Family friend was there who is a friend of my moms for over 40 years.. We chatted about different things such as work, volunteerism, family, friends, and of course stories about my mom..

Let me tell you how absolutely marvelous it is to have this man who knows my mother in such a deep and different manner to share stories about her.. He has answered so many questions I had about my mom that I have kept deep inside.. He has provided a vivid picture of this woman who was so stern and evident.. As her daughter it was difficult to reach her.. As a child and teenager you often question your parents and tell yourself when I have kids I will not do... But if God graces me with kids I pray that I will be a stable and constant as my mom.. I now cherish the that I am so much like her and hope I can have such a successful life as she did. She has touched many people beyond my comprehension. Grown men have come into her room and weep for she has always been a source of strength for them. She has given them a path for success and they followed it.. It is amazing. What is also amazing is when I was talking with my uncle (the family friend), I told him I was not sure as to what my mom is holding onto. The staff are amazed at her constitution and admire her strength. He said, she still has something to do here.. She is not finished.. You know what happened? She shook her head yes.. I looked at her and asked him did you see that or I am seeing things? He saw it too.. This is driving me crazy.. I know that she would not want to be in the state she is in now but I am out of options.. I have said my goodbyes, told her how amazing she is and how much I respect and honor her.. I have told her that I will be okay and my life will be meaningful.. I do not know what else there is? I pray for some sign..

I called a tree hugger friend and talked about this.. We had previously gone into a discussion about friends and the role they play in our lives... I am just now learning the difference between friendships and have read that there are three different aspects to friends; reason, season, and lifetime. You have those people who come into your life for a reason. Often not knowing the reason but the visit is often short and the reason comes after.. In a season a friends comes in and you share different things with each other through a journey in your life. Once your or their journey is complete the season is over and the friends moves on. Finally there are lifetime friends.. These are the people who have been in your life or will be in your life forever.. Sometimes you go days, weeks, months, and years without talking but once you come back into it was as you never left. Qualities such as loyalty, dependability, peace, and reliability are present.. You often do not have many lifetime friends and sometimes think some one is when they are not.. But you do have a couple or many even a few.. Friends are an important part of our lives and from my experience once I understand their part, learn to listen to each other, have reasonable expectations, and grow with change life is good and moves easily.. I do not know if all that seems like me ramblings but through these hard months I have learned where my friends are and what type of friend I am..