Little angels

I kept myself busy for most part of the day with clients.. working with children with autism fills my heart up with substance. I visited my mom today.. no change from yesterday.. i read her a few poems from emily post whom she likes...my sis and i have begun to make arrangements for my mom when she passes. When a person is still here it seems easier to make those decisions about who, where, when, and how.. at least for me vs my dad's funeral.. now we wait and pray... we have been told it will be very soon.. i wish my dad were here right now to soothe my sorrow.. but i am thankful he is not.. he would not have been able to handle his beloved going first.. my mom was stern and disciplined while handling her grief.. i am trying to find the courage to be like her but i am not sure i have much left.. maybe some oreos or chip ahoy will help..

as i sit here watching tv and typing i cry gently on the keyboard wishing to have some more time.. wishing things were different.. wishing.. wishing.. wishing.. but i know some wishes are not granted.. my mom seems content.. she is not in any pain now and that is huge.. i am trying to remember what a happy and fullfilled life she had and still has now.. it is god's turn to enjoy here.. that reminds me what my niece said on sunday when we took her to visit my mom.. my sis was explaining to her than mo mo is going to heaven to be with jesus.. he needs her right now.. she looked at my sis and then at mo mo and asked why? sis explained again.. why? another jab at explaining.. then after a long pause and glance at me and mo mo she told my sis why doesn't he take me instead so you won't be sad? i had to leave.. sorry to my sis.. but i had to leave.. i do not know what my sis told her but she was smiling when i came back in.. it is amazing what children say and how they think.. i believe an angel was there with her when she said that...