Come on down

I took a break from summer school to attend a couple of job fairs and interviews on T and W. Both went well. Job fairs are like cattle calls, not very productive and much face time but at least I was able to put a face with a resume and lets face it I am hard to forget.. (lucky me).. I also cleaned my house completely, finding all the dust bunny hiding places which were many and somehow with Squishy we were able to eradicate the demonic dust bunnies and DOG hair which co-habitated with the bunnies from every corner, shelf, electronics, and furniture.. We even power washed the entire exterior of the house which desperately needed it.. It felt good to get all that cleaning done. I must admit that the dog hair is a never ending story.. I can clean relentlessly and then bring them in and it starts all over again..

On top of all my cleaning and traveling to visit my Temple family (which I had a splendid time and I wished I could have done more to help out), my sister called me and we have since talked.. She is going through something now and needs someone to lean on. I am glad she called..

Well I have a few more hours of work today and I am off for the weekend. I think Frank and I are going to finally finish his house, the laundry room remains left to be floored and his house needs to be staged. I hope he can sell and make a good profit for all the hard work that has been done..

Driveway moment

I visited my mom a couple of times today. She responds softly to her name and smiles at you then drifts back to sleep. We have discontinued the feeding tube today because her body was not absorbing it. I sat there this morning and just talked to her about the dogs, my week, and told her about a new book I am reading. She would occasionally open her eyes and smile. I left after a while and drove home in silence. Crying softly realizing that the end is very near.. I thought this letting go process would be easier because it is gradual. It is not.. Realizing that I won't be able to see her, have her listen to me ramble, and smile at me when I need reassurance it difficult.

I also realized that this had been a very disruptive few months. March, my career was halted.. April, my son was left behind.. May, I will most likely lose my mom.. God only gives you what you can handle right? I will be a stronger person right? There are answers around the corner right?

I went to church this morning and prayed for peace, more faith, and grace to get through this and support my family. I know I will endure and live through this with resiliency and fortitude.. I thank my mom for those qualities I have.. She has taught me to always has passion for what you want.. Do not let anyone tell you that you can't!

Mom.. This is for you...

Three Dog Night

My third dog has been bit of a handful. She has chewed 3 water containers, 2 dryer vents, and 1 water pipe (to the point it broke and I had to call to get the water turned off and the pipe replaced) also the hose which is now is 4 pieces. Last night, thanks to the rain, the dogs had to stay in all night in which, she proceeded to take a complete medium pizza off the table and eat it (with some help from number two dog) and the ice cream container was torn apart in the living room. I woke up to 2 shredded boxes and 3 piles of poop the size of my face.. What am I going to do with #3? I often threat to send her to the person who gave her to me, but I think I would miss her too much.. I am going to pray she grows out of this. #2 dog did go through this but all he ended up chewing were 2 remote controls. #1 chewed my glasses and some shoes (but shoes don't count do they?)

On a different note my mom is going down a deteriorating path. She has several infections throughout her body and is not responding well to an aggressive set of antibiotics. She is in a lot of pain and cries often. I spent the day with her today trying to figure out where is the best place for her. She wants to be in hospice care but that does not come with home health care. She can go back into a nursing home, but that is not what she wants. I think she just wants to come home. I want her home to but she needs a type care that I physically can't do.. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully more options will become available.

Some positive news... things are looking up for employment. I had 2 interviews this week that went extremely well.. And my consulting gig is picking up... so some good some bad.. some highs some lows.. but all the while still breathing and praying and cleaning up after my kids (dogs)...