Three Dog Night

My third dog has been bit of a handful. She has chewed 3 water containers, 2 dryer vents, and 1 water pipe (to the point it broke and I had to call to get the water turned off and the pipe replaced) also the hose which is now is 4 pieces. Last night, thanks to the rain, the dogs had to stay in all night in which, she proceeded to take a complete medium pizza off the table and eat it (with some help from number two dog) and the ice cream container was torn apart in the living room. I woke up to 2 shredded boxes and 3 piles of poop the size of my face.. What am I going to do with #3? I often threat to send her to the person who gave her to me, but I think I would miss her too much.. I am going to pray she grows out of this. #2 dog did go through this but all he ended up chewing were 2 remote controls. #1 chewed my glasses and some shoes (but shoes don't count do they?)

On a different note my mom is going down a deteriorating path. She has several infections throughout her body and is not responding well to an aggressive set of antibiotics. She is in a lot of pain and cries often. I spent the day with her today trying to figure out where is the best place for her. She wants to be in hospice care but that does not come with home health care. She can go back into a nursing home, but that is not what she wants. I think she just wants to come home. I want her home to but she needs a type care that I physically can't do.. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully more options will become available.

Some positive news... things are looking up for employment. I had 2 interviews this week that went extremely well.. And my consulting gig is picking up... so some good some bad.. some highs some lows.. but all the while still breathing and praying and cleaning up after my kids (dogs)...

Circumstantial

I heard that word a lot today. It sounds intimidating and foreboding much like how I feel. But life does get better right? I often thought today about starting a new path only to discover that the baggage you thought you lost found you. Is it just circumstances or is there a higher power with a different plan I am not aware of? Maybe I should just stop hiding and increase my self-efficacy by believing that I am not a circumstantial person. I am a substantial person.

Just above the calf

All my life I have had to alter cars, counters, and clothes. I picked up a graduation robe today and was informed that I would once again have to alter it because it doesn't fit. My life has been filled with things that haven't fit; ex-husbands, annoying fish, and a society that is bigger than I am. But I have managed to fit in.. Its just sometimes I wish there wasn't a 'just above the calf'.

Pretty Amazing

Today is national prayer day and I silently prayed small prayers of thanks through out the day for my family, friends, dogs, shelter, food, peace, and grace.

Tonight, I came home from class a bit uplifted with positive possibilities in the future for me and watched some TV. I heard a new song from Neil Diamond (yes, I love Neil. I admit it). These lyrics spoke to me deeply and expressed my feelings towards sister and my friends. Neil has a new album coming out next week and this is one of his new songs. I hope it touches whomever listens to it or reads this blog.

Pretty Amazing Grace
by Neil Diamond

Pretty Amazing Grace is what you show me
Pretty Amazing Grace is who you are
I was an empty vessel, you filled me up inside
and with an amazing grace restored my pride.
Pretty Amazing Grace is how you saved me and
with amazing grace reclaimed my heart.
Love in the midst of chaos, calm in the heat of war
Shown with amazing grace what love is for
You forgave my insensitivity and my attempt to mislead you
You stood beside a wretch like me
Pretty Amazing Grace was all I needed
Stumbled inside the doorway of your chapel
Humbled and odd by everything I found
Beauty and love surround me freed me from what I feared
I asked for Amazing Grace and you appeared
Pretty Amazing
Pretty Amazing
Pretty Amazing
You overcame my loss of hope and faith
Gave me a truth I could believe in
You led me to a higher place
Showed that love, truth, hope and grace were all I needed
Pretty Amazing
Pretty Amazing

Breathing peacefully.

New Mantra

Another day another dust bunny cleaned.. I completed and submitted my application for yet another job but this one is not in education.. Maybe a new hill to try? I did some spring cleaning today in my room. I am determined to assemble a dresser I brought from IKEA about 4 months ago this week. My ideal is to minimize the amount of furniture in my room, like my life.. Simplify.. Breathe.. Live.. Laugh.. and Love..

still here

small victory..

Great deals today at Target. I went in for dog food and a container for rice and walked out with 80 pds of dog food for $23, no rice container :(, several bags of dogs treats on clearance (chicken wrapped around a banana) i am almost tempted to try one, lots of cans goods, cereal, applesauce, ziploc bags, and a dutch oven all on clearance. It feels good to walk out of a store with more items bought than the amount you spent. 1 point for the at home gnome.. I needed a victory and a pick me up...

still breathing..

Bitter pill

Have you ever been given bad news and had to shallow it like a bitter pill? I heard back from academic advisor, she informed me I am going to have to wait until dec. to graduation "if all goes well.." So, i registered for a grad class that looks rather interesting and not to difficult. I applied for financial aid again for the fall and asked my advisor a few more questions. I swallowed the pill.. I am now waiting to hear from another prof. to find out what grade I will be making in her class.. (small pill, tastes like squash).. I would like to think that will be all the pills i will have to swallow but i am not going to hope for that.. one step at a time right?!?!!

breathing