Crossroads

I am confused, torn, perplexed, and worn out over this adoption process.. As time ticks by my mind begins to wonder if i am making the right decision? Do I really want to adopt? Do I want a lifestyle change? Will I still be as spontaneous? I just dont know? I am really close.. I am just waiting on an article 5 approval and then i can make travel plans. I was hoping to go during holiday break from school but that has since come and went.. I guess I just need a sign..