Letting go

It has been a while since my last post and I am disappointed about that. I have been busy with work and the many new responsibilities I have there. Thus far, I have learned by letting go of the things I used to hold so proudly such as my stubbornness, my anxieties, my family's lack of patience, and my cynical views of the world I am a much happier, peaceful, and brighter person. I have had a rough year so far and it doesn't look like it is going to get any better anytime soon with the economy where is it at now. Having faith in a greater good and that all will eventually will work out, I can get through each day a little at a time. I am thankful that I have a wonderful bunch of students who bring joy, laughter, curiosity, some frustration (can't all be good :), and amazement to my daily life. I have a partner teacher who basically saves me ass each day as I arrive to work @ 8ish because I delayed getting up for the hour drive to work.. The faculty and staff have been so supportive, gracious, humorous, and inviting; for the first time in my career I feel I belong here for the right reasons, I feel I could stay here for a long time affecting change. (But why does it have to be here? which is so far.) I ask that question often as I am driving to work in the morning watching the life around me rise to the new day. Although, life for me now is fragile and uncertain. I am optimistic about the future. I pray for grace, forgiveness, and peace of mind. Lastly, I hope to some day soon rid myself of these fears. It is a monkey that I have been carrying around for a while and it is a burden that I am growing weary of. Maybe I will find a rainbow soon..

Oohs and Aahs

Just a brief note to share today. As part of this new math curriculum, my students were introduced to a formula triangle which acts as a visual aid to unlock the formula (problem). Why didn't we have this in math class? Maybe then I would have enjoyed it more. Anyhow, I showed them how and then let them have it.. It was awesome to hear the oohs and aahs as their brilliant minds were churning (some even had smoke coming out). Moments like that make it worth the drive and bs that comes with teaching..

Still breathing and clicking..

Extra Extra read all about it

So, I have been back in the saddle again for two weeks and I must say teaching general ed is a lot of work but fun. I really dig my students and they me.. I have begun to make new friends and ties to the community. I do have a few funny stories to share since the start of school. My students are coping with my size by leaving me milk, flinstone vitamins, and not recognized my size instead recognize that I am wearing a green hat and shirt. Walking behind my students in line, they were stopped by my principal and asked where is your teacher? I stepped out and waved.. She was a little embarrassed and impressed at their line walking ability. Yes, we teach how to walk in a line. I think it will be on the next TAKS test.. I went to a gathering of friends from all schools and it was there that my fame was confirmed. My car pooling friend often tells me she hears of the most recent little person sighting at her school. I am now waiting for the local paper to come and conduct an interview.. I wonder if I am the only LP there? Doubt it, but hey the community won't forget me..

Life is slowly coming along and the months are passing by. I am so ready for this year to be over with. I miss my parents, I ache and hurt for Sawyer. (I am hoping to go in Jan. waiting for confirmation.) India is moving along nicely as well. Two at once to start off my new year.. Very exciting.. Maybe my tree hugger friend can get a passport and come along for the ride..

Still breathing and laughing a lot thanks to David Sedaris..

Top 10 reasons you know you are in a small school district....

I have spent a week in training; meeting new friends and colleagues and getting my new room together (or shall i say box).. During the many mind wandering moments i had, i comprised a list of differences or reasons that you know you are in a small district versus a large district.. I thought it would be nice to share..

10. No free water or chocolate during training... And they expect me to stay awake?!?
9. If you are breathing you are hired.. Yes, #1 quality.. all others can be fixed..
8. You co-teach with scorpions.. Don't piss them off..
7. More micro-managing.. No where to hide.. Even if you are 4 feet tall..
6. Dinosaur technology if any in the classrooms..
5. No free stuff from administration.. Where are my post its and cool teacher stuff?
4. No a/c in classrooms while setting up your room.. (Box turns into an oven)
3. Admin more in tune with dress code.. No capris (doesn't apply to me.. but no jeans ever.. Not even on Fridays when we have to wear a t-shirt.. what the * uck..
2. Walking into a local eatery or store and having someone call your name and give you some bit of information about you that you wonder if are listed in the local paper under single, breathing, and employed..
1. And the #1 reason is money.. there is none.. no tree, not under a rock, and even the idea of new taxes is like george w bush passing a 5th grade TAKS test.. even with three tries.. impossible without mods..

Hope you enjoyed and laughed a little.. I am looking forward to this school year of substantial change and learning.. Both feet in (and on the gas)..Breathing..

Head examined

I think after today I should have my head examine for any sign of sanity.. I got up before God and drove for an hour and a bit more (and I don't even remember the drive), went to the first part of training for New teachers not new to the district.. So, i sat through 4 hours of how to login into your email, curriculum, messenger, etc.. The 2nd half was even better.. 4 hours of special ed info.. what is an IEP, ARD, TAKS-M, REED, etc.. HELLO!!! I am a special ed teacher where is the quiz I can take so I can leave? And I had no book! UGH

Well, we did leave early but I had a stop on my way home so I left at 6:05 and got home at 6:30.. Nice huh?? Where is the nearest head shrink.. It is going to be a long year.. I must say there are 21 new teachers at my school and at least 10 of us live here so I am going to set up a car pool.. That'll help right?

Exhausted and breathing barely..

Full circle

Today began with an oops.. Apparently, I was supposed to be at work but I wasn't in attendance due to lack of communication on their part.. So, now I have to report to school tomorrow and for the rest of the week.. Although, I am excited about beginning this school year in a new setting I am wary of the traveling.. But you work through the difficult times to do the thing(s) you love. I do love teaching and being a teacher, I think it is what I am meant to do and to toot my own horn I am good, no very good, at it. My life this year has been a roller coaster ride with more dips than rises.. But through it all I have persevered. I have learned many life lessons, met new friends, said goodbye to old ones. I have begun to make new plans for the future which was hard for me because of the scars I have and doubt that hides inside.. But, I have nonetheless.. I know that I have people out there that love and value me which has become my life support.. Life comes around in full circle when you least expect it..

Another oops today was a call I made to inquire about a friend from work.. I learned that a Melvin friend did not get anything he expected but got what he deserved. Does that sound harsh? If so, too bad.. I smiled with that news and felt a little bad but that did NOT last.. I believe that being in education and now working in a small district with the same aspirations our paths will cross again and time heals wounds.. I predict this within the next 2-4 yrs.. I will be a stronger, wiser, mentally healthier person..

My parents (especially my dad), all told us that when life hands you lemons make a pie and share it..

I love you dad and mom.. I miss you a lot.. But, I am here and I will continue on..

breathing..

Blindly

What is it about money that tears people apart? I was given an ultimatum today and money is at the root of it. I have a small benefit coming to me that I need to use for some legal issues which were created by this person. It went so far as an if then situation. A contestment of the will could occur which would delay the deed title change which would delay a home equity loan I need to complete all the legal issues and save me from any adverse legal actions. I am trying to see both sides of this story but it is hard to see through the hurt..

Well, i am off work on some projects for some clients..