Bridges

I made it back here after a year of motherhood. I have been so blessed to have made a journey of love to receive unconditional love. My daughter is this amazing, beautiful, smart, sweet, and made more adjectives that I am too tired to think of.. I just know I am lucky to have her and I will do everything I can to make her happy..

Lately I have been dealing with what seems like a loss of a friend, a very a friend whom I have known for more than 20 years.. I am sad, depressed, mad, confused, and lonely at the thought of this loss..


Feel somewhat better..

Heaven's phone

I wish heaven had a phone, so I could hear your voices again, I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought of you yesterday and days before too.
I think of you in silence, I often speak your names. All I have are memories and a picturs in frames.

I miss you mom and dad..

tick tock

Good morning all.. I cant seem to get my internal clock ticking on the right time zone.. I am up all night and sleep all day... I figure by the time I get it right it will be time to go back home.. I am anxious today.. Yamini finally comes.. Late around 11pm and its going to be a fun night.. We have an early morning appointment at the embassy and then off to get her medical exam which I was expecting to do, I was told it would already be done.. Here comes the hitches in the plan..

Breakfast is coming and I might go and try to get some sightseeing done but I am not sure..

Cheers!

Arrival

Well, the traveling gnome has made it safely to India and it was an adventure. My flight from Houston to Doha, Qatar pronounced Cutter was very rough and packed. I sat by a window and had an Indian man sit in the aisle we had 1 seat btwn us. It was an older aircraft and the seat arms did NOT raise all the up.. The flight crew were nice but very busy so I did not get my ice cream! The food was a journey I ordered the chicken but it didn't look like chicken, taste like chicken, or even smell like chicken, so I didn't eat much. Doesn't everything taste like chicken? I did get to watch a couple of movies on the plane which was good. The flight took about 16 hours and after being up since 9am with a 8pm departure and already flown 5 hours I was tired..So, I sat there and tried to figure out how I am going to get some rest. The man in the aisle seat was already snoring and had his feet on the middle seat. Darn!! I tried the kneeling on the floor with my head on my seat (yes, I did fit) but that was uncomfortable. How do kids do it at church I wonder? I also had to hide from the stewardess so I sloped on down to the floor and slept there covered under a blanket. It wasn't that bad, really and I am glad that I am a travel size gnome. Once in Qatar which had a flurry Middle Eastern people that I had only seen on TV. I actually saw a lady in a full burka and my jaw dropped. I didn't know how to react, the man she was with was treating her like a possession not a person.

Boarding for India I somehow used my gnome powers of persuasion and got upgraded to business class! very nice the seats fold all the way down!! and the food was much better. I saved my nuts, crackers, and a bagel for later and watch a Everybody's Fine with Robert DeNiro I love that man.. Great movie.. ( I am going to try my powers on the return trip with Yamini and hopefully we can have a upgrade from Doha back to Houston..

I must write about what happened once I arrived in Delhi.. The airport is massive and you have to walk to immigration and wait in line. There was one line that said for physically challenged persons but I did not wait in that line (maybe that was my pride). When it was my turn the counter was at least 18 inches over my head and I had to tiptoe to hand the man my passport. But he did not take it. He acted as if I wasn't there. I was horrified. I looked around for some guidance and was ignored. So, I waited for the next available man and tried again.. This time he took it and looked at me like I was just let out of a circus. He stamped my passport and tossed it back over the counter where it fell on the floor. Mad, I said in English, I guess I know that I am in India with people like you. Next, I had to go buy some liquor for the bed/breakfast manager where I was staying, he asked and I say ok. I did that, got my luggage and proceeded to exit out of the airport where I was to be looking out for a man with a sign with my name on it and he would bring me to my room. I found him but he was surely surprised when he saw me.. He took my cart of luggage and rushed out of the airport. I desperately tried to keep up but I couldn't. I listened as people reacted to me and it hurt a lot. I recalled the same thing happened in Nepal and tried to block it out. But when someone comes up to you and pushes you deliberately while talking in a foreign language it is hard to block out. I need to be careful and not stereotype all Indian people but the ones at the airport were rude and disrespectful. I simply smiled at the man and said boo.. He moved and I walked away crying because I was mad. I summoned the rest of my courage not to get on the next flight back to US and left the airport. Americans can be brash and insensitive but for the most part there is a level of respect and acceptance. Yes, I get stared out everywhere I go but from a distance and quietly. Most of the time I don't even see it. Not here. I am glad I am taking Yamini away from their views and disapproving ideals. But, I must remember not all people here are like that. I just haven't found any that are not.
Tomorrow I plan to go to the market and do some sightseeing. Monday I meet with my social worker, director of the orphanage and most importantly Yamini. Tuesday and Wed we have appointments at the US embassy for her visa and Thursday I hope to take her to the zoo.. We fly out Friday morning at 4:45am and return back to Houston around 5pm. Its 7pm on a sat and I am watching several India men take out an ac in the kitchen where the computer is out to clean it.. Why couldn't there be a couple of cute Indian women doing this? Most laster.. Traveling gnome signing off

And here I go again on my own..

The traveling gnome is packing once again. I finally received my visa/passport and the go ahead to travel to India to complete the long anticipated adoption of Yamini. I am excited, worried, nervous, anxious, and exhausted with all the preparation and what ifs.. I wish they could just ship here (she's small and will fit into a large fed ex box).. maybe not right?!?

As I make plans for my students and partner teacher I am overwhelmed with kindness and excitement from all around. Work hasn't been a very safe and happy place to be at lately. I have been dreading driving here and hide in my classroom until it is time to go.. Its not the students nor the teachers (well maybe a few).. I have just been overwhelmed with everything and I cant seem to keep everything straight.. Excuses, excuses I know but I do not have anything else. I am ok with the possibility of not be offered another contract.. (I do plan to make noise about it; because I am a great teacher that affects positive change in my students lives).. I just want to be offered so I don't have to worry about what am I going to do next year.. I mean I do plan to apply in San Antonio, even if it is not in the education field, but use my masters to get a decent admin position in a different company.. My head is full of so many things the noise is deafening and tiresome.. (I just read what I wrote and my thoughts are all over the place) Too tired to edit anyways..

Red Tape..

As I am trying to prepare for my trip to India I have run into the perverbial government red tape. I sent my passport off in January for my visa which is a 7 day process. As of today, I have not received it. I was told today the consulate wants more paperwork regarding the adoption. I included the paperwork when I applied. I am beyond frustrated and my agency here is flustered. I am suppose to fly out on Sat. from Houston and have all my arrangements in Delhi already made. Now I have to wait for someone to review my application again and approve a visa.. Wait for someone to tell me I can finally depart on a journey long in waiting.. Wait again to be disappointed that this is not falling into place.. It reminds me of my last adoption journey. I wonder if this is a sign that this is not meant to be.. I am not to be blessed with a child or experience parenthood..

I just dont know anymore!

Crossroads

I am confused, torn, perplexed, and worn out over this adoption process.. As time ticks by my mind begins to wonder if i am making the right decision? Do I really want to adopt? Do I want a lifestyle change? Will I still be as spontaneous? I just dont know? I am really close.. I am just waiting on an article 5 approval and then i can make travel plans. I was hoping to go during holiday break from school but that has since come and went.. I guess I just need a sign..

Adoption

Whew! I have been on busy busy dwarf. I just received approval from the Hague for my adoption. Now the paperwork makes its way to New Delhi in India and goes through their approval process. If all goes well I will be traveling the week before Christmas. I am required to stay in country for one week, we shall see if I can get this process speed along.

Sorry for the brief post but I am in a training for school and I am multitasking.

Here are some recent pics of Yamini. (Still not settled on a name)

Running on empty

It seems that the more I work on organizing my time and try to maintain a healthy balance of eating, sleeping, and working something always changes. But change is good right?

After a series of events and a difficult decision I am the lone resident on Kendalia. Terence has moved out perminently and hopefully he will take responsibility for himself and his actions. Thats all im gonna say on that.

Now a funny story that happened on Thursday night; lets me start with some background info. I recently posted an update to my FB page and asked for suggestions for a Halloween costume that would incorporate jeans. (My ultra-conservative school district does not permit teachers wearing jeans UNLESS you contribute to a "worthy cause of their choosing"). I was given many suggestions and thanked everyone. I ended up going as a benchwarmer for the Spurs in very comfortable track pants and a jersey. But here is the funny story. On Thursday night I had a brilliant idea to go with a Hawaiian themed costume complete with a grass skirt. I remembered I had a grass skirt, Hawaiian print shirt, and other pieces either in my front room (formly known as the sewing room) and the back room (formly known as my bedroom and Terence's room); so I took my flashlight because the light in the sewing room and in the closet in the back room does not work. I searched and searched both rooms vigorously by movin boxes (Frank's stuff has infilterated into those rooms). I was unsuccessful i.e the benchwarmer activity. After a good 15 minute search I went back to the living room to watch some TV when there was a knock at the door. (Having no clue and hoping it was Terence coming to pick up the rest of his stuff.) It wasn't.. It was the cops asking if I was ok. After confirming that I was the cops informed me they received a report of a suspicious person in the neighborhood. To ease the cops mind I pushed my front door wide opened and there were my 4 babies chewing on a treat. Seamus and Riley looked up and gave a huge bark. The cops stepped back and then told me the true reason that someone had called and reported seeing a flashlight movin around in my house and was concerned..I was very touched that my neighbors whom I rarely chat with or even see cared enough to care.

On top of that November is a very busy month and quite possibility a new beginning for me we shall see..

Another one bites the dust..

And so it happened.. Last night I was walking to my favorite spot on the couch, (with my dinner), that has been quite lonely lately, shouldering my cell phone (because I was on it with a parent). When it happened.. Yes, another cell phone bites the dust.. It fell into a bowl of ranch dressing.. and there you have it.. So, I have made the call to replace it today and I have my old one.. But when you have something you are comfortable with it is never easy to go back; like VHS tapes.. Once you have several DVDs its not so easy to watch a VHS tape.. Or HD tv.. I have one of those and I love it.. Watching "regular" tv is just not the same anymore..

Oh well.. Ill be ok.. I should have my phone by tomorrow or if not when I get back from Temple. (Yes, Im a comin tree hugger!)

and life will be ok..

New school year

Yesterday began another school year in Uvalde, and each morning I dread working here but once I am here I can't imagine any where else. (Im sure if I was teaching in SA I would say the same).. I have 22 students and Sid has 25, thank you attrition.. Yesterday, went by so quickly I can barely remember what I did with the exception of the intro question. Last year my students were not quite sure what to expect or make of me because of my stature. I asked them what made me different compared to other teachers. I got answers like: you wear a hat, you are cool, nice, and the best.. You like dogs, (that tells me they were listening) and finally one student said you have a platform (why I asked), because you are short. Then began why I am short conversation and a dialogue about being different but the same. This year was no exception.. Same polite responses until one student was brave enough to say I was "different in my size but not how I teach", (nominate that kid for GT!!)... I am enjoying my homeroom class this year so far.. Check back with me in a few months. My other class is bigger with more personalities and no spec ed kids so it comes to me with a different level of understanding and needs but I am like them..

I am planning a school year with a car pool plan from San Antonio, a back up place in Del Rio (thanks Marina), and now today a place to stay here with another teacher; so, it looks good.. I just need to keep up with time management and getting here on time I am 2 for 2 so far this year.. WHOO-HOO!

On a different note. Frank is in Corpus and his house has sold. I took some stuff to Del Rio yesterday that he sold but I had already taken with me back to SA and checked on several plants that a nice neighbor is caring for..

My niece Emily started her academic journey yesterday as well and from my sister she liked it.. Anthony is in high school and it said it was crazy..

My dogs are doing well.. Dakota has not adjusted well with me not being home.. She demonstrated that by chewing and tearing up some linoleum in the bathroom. (Guess I will start the remodel early).. Dilan is growing by leaps and bounds.. She is so tall and lanky.. She reminds me of a giraffe, but she is so so sweet and precious..

I gotta run.. My kids are at PE and I need to go find some chocolate and make copies..

Still breathing..

Retrospective

I have previously blogged about my driving journey to Uvalde and the many unfortunate "encounters" my box has had with wildlife in southwest Texas. To recap, I have bumped a deer and a coyote. I have hit a roadrunner (aren't they supposed to run fast? I remember that they did in the cartoons), several lizards and frogs, a sparrow, a cardinal, a possum, a raccoon, a snake, a skunk (yuck)!, a couple of jack rabbits (sorry earthmama :(), 3 armadillos, and 1 prairie dog.. After a year of driving every day to and from I was bound to hit a variety of wildlife but last week I topped even that. I was on my way home from summer school and I was behind a large industrial produce truck. I ran over several ears of corn, 2 heads of cabbage (now coleslaw on highway 90), a couple of onions, and some carrots. I couldn't believe it myself. But, hey if I take one of the animals I hit before as a protein I could cook up some southwest Texas soup... (sounds yummy)..

Still breathing..

Maybe next year on my journey to work I will encounter something new (hope not but at least I have something to look forward too)..

Showing

I just want to put it out there that Frank has a showing today for his house in DR. I am excited for Frank. He, on the other hand is stressed, anxious, and nervous about the whole process. He is on a deadline and needs to sell his house quickly so, he can start in CC. I have faith that his house will sell for what he is asking, which is a steal. We,(we does not include Marinara; she somehow got out of it each time), put in a tremendous amount of work into his house and I hope it pays off for him BIG..

On another front I have begun to show my age. I forgot or maybe even lost my cell phone and wallet back in DR. I had planned to go home today after school. (I hvnt been home in 2 days and my squishy is getting bitchy), but not tonight unless I can or someone can find my shit and bring it to me here.. I will NOT drive to DR and then turn around and drive to SA>> that's crazy!

Looking forward to a relaxing weekend with my sister, niece, and nephew. Planning on a early morning zoo trip, Witte museum or movie, our favorite lunch spot, and then a trip to my favorite place Half Price books.

Still breathing, sadly without my cell or wallet :(

putting it out there

Lately, I have been really busy in Del Rio and I have neglected my house, my job hunt, my dogs, my family, and myself. To try and play catch up I am just going to put it all out there and hope and pray my life gets back in order (not to say it is not, but i have been a little frantic lately). First in line is my house, i would like the dust bunnies and dog hair to find somewhere else to co-habitat, laundry (which I secretly enjoy doing but not putting it away), needs to make its way into my dresser and closet and the grocery shopping (who needs to eat).
Next, my job. I have put applications in six different districts and went to 3 different job fairs and 2 interviews but the job market is very tight and competitive in San Antonio. 10 teachers are applying for 1 job. I have the experience, skills, and the certifications but I wonder if I have been blacklisted. So, I am asking and praying to find a job closer to San Antonio. I DO NOT want another year of commuting to and from Uvalde. Do not get me wrong, I love my job at Flores but not the drive. Now, onto my dogs. They smell horrible and my littlest one has several fleas, she is still too young for any flea treatment available. I have tried bathing her in apple cidar vinegar and it is effective for a while. My dogs need a break from the backyard and I need the motivation to take them to a park where they can enjoy themselves and nature. When it comes to my family I have to say I miss them but I am cautiously taking my time to see them. I am putting it out there that I would like my sister to come over without an invite. Lastly, myself. I need a massage and a pedicure. My feet are rough and calloused. I would like a good night sleep in my bed and a good steak dinner (and I do not want to cook it or buy one).. That's all for now. So, it is out there and I will see what happens next.

Pass the Aleve Please!!

Oh boy! What a weekend I have had. I spent it in Del Rio again with Frank helping him paint, landscape, pack, clean, and organize. We were ambitious Friday night when we both arrived from San Antonio with a three page list itemized by each room in his house and the things that needed to get done. We, (and that's all there was), his roommate worked all weekend, Marinara was out of town, and my ex and his partner had plans, so it was just he and I the entire weekend. I had my doubts we would be able to keep our personalities in check especially towards the end of the day when we were both tired and frustrated but somehow we did. I learned a tremendous amount of DIY project info this weekend; installing laminate and ceramic tile floors, landscaping, constructing shelves, and some electrical..I must say it was fun, we both enjoyed trial and error of each project. At the end of Saturday we finished landscape, painting (outside) and cleaning the front and back yard, packing 5 boxes for my return trip home and organized his "great room" for upcoming post pictures today. We were both so tired Saturday night that we were nipping at each other. But, I must say that he has softened quite bit and after he stepped on my big toe (only had socks on)and he had tennis shoes, he immediately blamed me for laying on the kitchen floor while we were cooking (I was in the way), but I was putting together a parson chair for the kitchen. He walked out and came in and apologized which is a big step for him. Sunday we slept in a little did some more planting and painting his patio (last minute decision the night before), we cleaned and packed one bedroom, the master bedroom, the great room was staged and ready, and the media room and the closet was staged, cleaned, and packed. All in all we finished 2 1/2 of the 3 pages and left the laundry room floor, touch up painting in the bathroom and cleaning the tub, touch up painted and grout the kitchen counters. I am pleased with what we accomplished physically and emotionally. We have been friends for over 20 years and with that have seen each other through many life changes. My body aches all over, (did I mention I fell off a ladder Saturday while painting), I am tired, and my box is full once again with more stuff but Aleve can fix it..

Last night when we were both delirious from being tired and smelly(we both stank horribly),we came up with our own mastercard priceless commerical..

paint supplies, cleaning items, and aleve $100 on mastercard

landscaping materials, boxes, and a trip to the Wal-mart for more Aleve, $200

surviving a weekend with a good friend priceless...

Come on down

I took a break from summer school to attend a couple of job fairs and interviews on T and W. Both went well. Job fairs are like cattle calls, not very productive and much face time but at least I was able to put a face with a resume and lets face it I am hard to forget.. (lucky me).. I also cleaned my house completely, finding all the dust bunny hiding places which were many and somehow with Squishy we were able to eradicate the demonic dust bunnies and DOG hair which co-habitated with the bunnies from every corner, shelf, electronics, and furniture.. We even power washed the entire exterior of the house which desperately needed it.. It felt good to get all that cleaning done. I must admit that the dog hair is a never ending story.. I can clean relentlessly and then bring them in and it starts all over again..

On top of all my cleaning and traveling to visit my Temple family (which I had a splendid time and I wished I could have done more to help out), my sister called me and we have since talked.. She is going through something now and needs someone to lean on. I am glad she called..

Well I have a few more hours of work today and I am off for the weekend. I think Frank and I are going to finally finish his house, the laundry room remains left to be floored and his house needs to be staged. I hope he can sell and make a good profit for all the hard work that has been done..

Light bulb

Have you ever had a moment where you are totally confused and then ah-ha moment comes? My students had one today all at the same time. Edison would be proud. I am enjoying summer school but the mornings are still not so much fun, but keeping in mind that I am getting an extra paycheck puts a smile on my face as I pass the 78 cows, 36 fields of green, and countless goats (they never stay in one place to count)

Heavy heart

I am tired.. I spent the weekend helping my DR friend clean, renovate, and pack his house only to come home to my puppy Savannah sick with Parvo. I sadly had to put her down this evening. Its hard to say good bye to someone who hasnt been around very long and it hurts a lot. I cried on my way back home from the emergency vet where I left her. I asked myself and GOD why her.. Time passed then my DR friend called and asked me to join him at Bill Millers (his favorite place) where he tried his best to comfort me (which was incredibly sweet because that is something he is not accustomed to but it helped).

I guess there are no answers as to why it just happens and we must grieve, enjoy the time we had with the loved one, and move on.

I will post a pic of her soon, maybe tomorrow. I am not working I have an interview here in SA (fingers crossed).

Still breathing

Last DAY of School

What I have consumed thus far is 2 breakfast tacos from a student, 1 cupcake from another, a Starbucks caramel iced coffee from me, several pieces of candy, 1 half apple with peanut butter, pizza, caramel brownies (OMG YUMMY!!), rice crispy treats, a piece of strawberry cake(4 layers high), 3 tamales with chili and cheese, the best hamburger with cheese I have ever eaten, (I stayed away from the chips and dips), and water..

What I have received from my students: flowers, many cards, 3 stuffed animals (dogs), and many many hugs..

What I have learned and gained this year in Uvalde: many, many, many, more miles on my box, my contribution to the nitrogen cycle, laughs from my kids and my partner, experience of teaching general education in math and science, amazing science TAKS scores and hopefully math (find out in another week), collaboration among experienced staff that has allowed me to grow (professionally but not physically) and the partnership with an amazing teacher. I do not know if I could have done it without him. He covered for me when I was late, which was quite a bit in the fall semester, he took care of paperwork that I had no clue what or when to get it done, and our partnership was very flexible and giving on both parts. All in all I enjoyed my work here a lot.. I am not sure if I am going to be back, I can not do another year of commuting. We shall see where my next chapter will be in August.

Unfortunate mishaps

As I drove to work this morning I was recalling the unfortunate creatures that have met their demise by me and my box. So far, this year my box and I have ended 5 squirrels, many frogs, 2 snakes, 3 horny toads (at least that's I what I think they were), 1 skunk(OMG it was horrible and the smell stayed inside my box for a week), several birds who played chicken in the road and lost. Today, I hit a deer.. I was playing with fate each cold morning I drove in and lost this morning.. I bumped it actually on the right hind side and fortunately, I dont have too much damage but I was late this morning by 15 minutes. As I drove in my principal was in the parking lot looking at her watch.. What can I do?

I have several leads in San Antonio for some jobs. I am hoping I get something there.. I cant spend another year communting back and forth AND FM is looking really good for a job in CC, TX. I used his place as a back up.

Last day of school is tomorrow.. HOORAY.. I am done packing, cleaning, and sorting through my room. I have a couple of things to do for Saturday (yes, I have to work on Saturday) it sucks!! And on Monday summer school starts which is another mishap because I signed up for science camp where I had hoped to teach a PLUNGE curriculum and scuba dive but NO>> I have to teach math summer school which from what I hear is horrible... Great more commuting and more pain in the butt kids.. Only 16 days of summer school and an extra pay check is what I am keeping on the top of my head.. Bells gonna ring soon.. Another day down and more one to go.